Alright so my day started at 6 am and it started a bit rocky. I dont know how you are lately its like your happy then you end up super angry at me for no reason. I keep saying shit like I can’t do it no more but im still holding on to everything so im tying but everything is making me so mad like my sister is back and my moms acting more different then it was the week when we started sleeping at my moms but since my sister got back ugh everythings just gone down. ah until next time just a random rant about life but other then that i love life … :)

the fact that im not your first priority is devastating. to realize you dont care for me as much as i do makes it worthless. ive never came across this till i seen it all yesterday. i feel as if im here just for your comfort till you do find someone new. but why do i stay, same reason why i was faithful till day one and i still for some reason love you. once i stop youll notice that one day i wont be there one day youll realize that everyday your on my mind and nothing ever came across it. one day youll realize you were my first priority. one day when im gone it will be to late for you to come to comprehend all of it and figure out that you missed out. im getting to that point right about now.

i thought after thus ill be happier i miss when you cared

one day i want you to be in my shoes and realize the shit im going through. i need someone who puts me first on their list. just hard to know in a couple days something i dont believe in is going to happen and i dont know emotionally and physically i need you to be here for me..

so here i am again same shit different year. i thought we were doing so much better but i guess not. its the fact that you dont want to face what you do wrong. im not perfect and i know that but to say its always my fault isnt always correct. your becoming more shady then before i cant even look at your phone through my pictures. its starting to be the same pattern as last year your talking to someone and lie to me who it is i just dont think that your all so faithful to me that you do your own thing. and to come across what im going through now. im not complaining at all i just want that relationship that a guy would show the world he loves his girlfriend that shes everything to him. sigh, i see so many people happy with there boyfriends i see how they treat them and sometimes i wish that one day you can put aside your “gangster boy” look and your “manliness” and be romantic. i want those surprises i want those flowers i want a romantic guy but what do i have a guy who think men are more dominant them women a guy that doesnt want to support my life decisions a guy who complains that he doesnt get a good 8 hr sleep. a guy who does not appericiate what his girlfriend does everyday just to be with him just to try and make him happy. im not perfect but i want you to be excited to see my family and not seem to be dragged over there i get excited to see yours i try so hard for them to except me since i came in the picture after your ex. just remember who was there for you when you needed someone the most who woke up at 6 am after a long night to talk to you when you were scared, who got out of bed at 9 am that day and rushed over to be with you all day at the hospital. who was there when you needed to hold someone. i believe no person would do all thAt a week into dating a
person if they were not sure that they actually do love you. also pull through what youve done to me 3 months into pur relationship and still love you and forgive you but not forget. i dont think its much to ask that you open up to me after a year treat me like you treated her im not just that ordinary girl.